Yodelmeister

Holla at my fellow Asian in the alps! This is so amazingly wrong on so many levels! I love it.

...

Hahahahaha. Apparently someone searched for "Aphinya sucks and fucks" according to Blogspot. I'm sorry to disappoint you (whoever you are), but I don't really have a sextape out on the interwebz. But I do have plenty of weird/lame/wtf stories out there a la daydreaming about japanese spider crabs instead of doing homework and reading about orangutans locked up in brothels etc.

Ahem. Anyway. So. I'm leaving for Berlin in two days and then Switzerland afterwards. But guess what. Turns out that a guy I know is going to Switzerland as well. To the same village. Gimmelwald. There's only one "road" in the village and ca. 200 people living there, so it's going to be painfully hard not to run into him.

Anyway. I didn't know until for a second ago. A friend linked me a cool Lauterbrunnen valley base jumping video after I told him where I was going to end up in Switzerland. When I asked how he came across the video, he said that a friend of his who's going base jumping in Lauterbrunnen showed it to him. Turns out I know his friend a little too well. D:

Hm. He's going to base jump Lauterbrunnen Valley and the Eiger - I'm only going to do Via Ferrata, which is like mountain climbing/hiking for morons.  But! The view! Oh man, I am going to take SO many photos.

Via ferrata photo - thanks Google. 

Asian escapades + money + altmuligtblandet

So. I got home around 3am. I was bored, couldn't sleep and apparently Solada and a few of the other Thai girls couldn't sleep either. So we started drinking. It ended up being a bit brutal. We kept jumping up and down on Soladas bed while singing karaoke. Man, it was awful. 5 drunk Thai girls jumping on a bed and singing awful songs.

Solada accidentally kneed me right in the babymaker when I tried to grap the microphone from her. She apologized, and I teared up. And no, I'm not a crybaby, BUT BEING KNEED RIGHT IN THE UTERUS WAS NOT FUN AT ALL. I think a part of me died a little.

Whatever. It was awfully fun. Anyway. Guys. I met Magne the other day. I hid behind a bench and pretended to tie my shoestrings. But he spotted me. When he came over and asked why I was crouching down behind a bench, I laughed it off and said something like "ahahha.. ahaha.. ahaha.. I was tying my shoestrings, silly!!" - his reply? "you're not wearing shoes with strings." fuck. I suck. Why didn't I just say something like "dude, can't talk. about to piss my pants" or something like that? Or even better, why didn't I just smile and power walk away? I am so fucking bad at confrontations. It almost seems like I have to be pushed again and again before I stand up for myself.

Sweet Jesus

duh

A guy I haven't heard from since the beginning of June wrote "I lost my phone. Would you mind giving me your phone number again?" My initial reaction was "yes, yes yes!! Of course you can have my number, silly!!"

But instead I replied with an "I don't think that is a good idea.". Fuck. Me. But it's just.. I haven't heard from him in a long time, so I slowly stopped thinking about him. It was all good. But now he's on my mind again. Great. I mean, he could basically have said "oh, so you're about to get over me? Here, why don't I text you so you start thinking about me again". Same shit.

Hmm. I feel awful about this. I can't believe I just fucking messed up the last chance I had of seeing him when I get back, soon-ish (thanks Pearlio). But again, this is all for the greater good.

.. Who am I kidding. I'm fucking ordering fried chicken and fries now. I feel like shit. AND DON'T JUDGE ME IT'S PERFECTLY OKAY TO GORGE ON JUNK FOOD WHEN YOU'RE NOT FEELING SUPER DUPER.


.. Eh.

Hmm.

I overheard a girl talking about a documentary she had seen, about Thai women who leave Thailand in order to find a Western husband. She said something a la "a real mother wouldn't leave her children like that" (there's a mother in the documentary living in Denmark who haven't seen her son for one or two years).

.. Are you kidding me? "A real mother"? You spoiled fuck. Yes, it would be pretty damn optimal if mothers didn't leave their children, but do you really think that they do it for fun or because they want to? Most people in the West are so fortunate that they tend to forget that other countries, for example Thailand, doesn't have the same standards. Heh. It's sad when people take things for granted..

Anyway. Back to the "awful" Thai mothers who leave their kids. Sure, thinking back when it comes to my pre-Denmark childhood sucks. Why? Because I had no idea who my mom was. People get a bit shocked when they hear that, and sure it would have been nice to have been a kiddo with my mom around - but she did it for me. The reason why she weren't a "real mother who is around", is because she worked non stop in a factory in the outskirts of Bangkok, in order to earn money, so I could have an okay life. 

Someone once asked me "why didn't she just get a job in Isaan so she could be close to you?" Uh.. My mom earned ca. 117 (usually a bit more though) dollars a month where she worked. That's not a lot - especially if you have to send back money to 4-5 family members in Northeast. And that job was in Bangkok. Jobs in Isaan are shit compared to jobs in Bangkok. So.. A job with almost no pay in a poor region or a job with better pay in another region? Do the math. Idiot. Anyway. She worked and lived in the factory and I thought my grandparents were my parents since I grew up with them and never saw my mom. Boom. There.

Okay. I'm getting slightly passive-aggressive now, but spoiled farang people who automatically assume a mother can't be anything but a bad mom if she's away from her kid for a few years is pissing me off! Get it, not everyone are as lucky as people in the West. 

I haven't talked with my mom for a long time now, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm grateful for what she has done. She went to a country where she didn't know anyone, couldn't speak the language etc, in order to marry a man she had met through an newspaper ad saying something a la "young Thai woman seeking husband". Sure, that sounds a bit ridiculous, but that was a huge sacrifice from her side. She had no idea who she would end up with (luckily it was Lars, my reclusive, awkward, antisocial but awesome dad), but she still did it - for me. So I could grow up and have the opportunities she never had.

Some people tend to laugh a bit or ridicule Thai/farang couples, where the woman is way younger than the husband, but well, most people are stupid fucks, I guess. They wouldn't make fun of it, if they knew how big of a bitch real poverty can be. It's about survival and about TAKING A FUCKING CHANCE IN LIFE. 

Since when has that been a bad thing? 

I would probably have slaved away my youth in some shit factory or worked as a bar girl in Pattaya, if my mom hadn't married Lars. But now I'm still pretty fortunate, even though I'm not in contact with my mom. Like, sure I'm broke - but that's my own fault. But I'm still fortunate enough to be able think "eh, Thamma or Chula university? Which one is good enough for me..". 

Hmpf. My mom once told me that she felt ashamed of herself whenever she saw tourists in Bangkok casually walking around with their kids clad in expensive clothes and walking around with expensive toys. She wanted the same for me, but she just couldn't afford it. 

Or, at least not until she met Lars. It's scary how spoiled I am (were?). Like, I asked my mom for an apartment in Bangkok, and got one ASAP. And I've never ever paid for a plane ticket to Thailand myself. Either they've been free or almost free (connections, bitches) or paid by my parents.. Sure I've told people that I've paid for my own tickets, but that's a huge lie. If I've paid for them myself, then it means that my parents wired me cash. 

And the worst thing is that I still take it for granted.. Like, I saw a nice apartment for rent in Bangkok, and I was so close to calling my mom and asking if she wouldn't.. Well, as I said the last time I wanted her to buy me an apartment "but mom! the location is great! it's right across Lumphini park and all the embassies, it's in the best part of Bangkok! You don't want me to live in a slum, do you? .."  Fuck. I am no better than the people I am ranting against. Hmpf.

Anyway. As I said, I'm broke for the moment. Family issues and all. It sucks, but it's good for me to truly broke (I have 4 dollars on my account until the 30th haha.... ha). Like, I used to take so many things for granted - and I still do. But I guess that what I'm trying to say, is that this shit is good for me. I need this. 

Racism and an Orangutan sex slave

This is messed up

"You could choose a human if you preferred, but it was a novelty for many of the men to have sex with an orangutan [...] They shaved her every other day [...] They would put rings and necklaces on her. She was absolutely hideous to look at."

Yup. Those quotes and the photo pretty much sums up everything.  

WTF article (yes, click here! Look!!)

Also, I shared my fridge with another girl who lived here. But luckily she moved back to Herning. When I realized she had moved, I couldn't help but go all "yes.. yes.. yes!!! THANK YOU JESUS (even though I don't believe in you).

Why? Because she was uhm.. Rather special. Like, on my third-ish night here, I asked her which block was the worst, just to keep on small talking with her. When she answered "definitely the fifth block", I assumed it was because they were all gross fuckers who never cleaned up or just noisy.. But apparently it was because there were so many Africans.. 

And oh, it didn't stop there. Ca. 2 weeks later I ran into her in the kitchen around midnight. She had the cleaning week, so she was cleaning up the kitchen. We ended up small talking again, because I was going to stay at the kitchen for a while anyway, since I was cooking (yup, got hungry around midnight). But when we started talking, she immediately started off saying "well, I'm a racist. No, I'm not.. I just don't like Muslims. Are you a Muslim?" 

Aaaaand then she went on and on. "Don't get me wrong, I do have a Turkish friend.. But she's just like us Danes, she smokes and she drinks and she loves to party.. And she doesn't like to hang out with other Muslims" .. 

Also, this is my favorite part of our conversation:

Her: So, are you half Danish Aphinya? Your skin is very dark

Me: No, but my step dad is Danish.

Her: I get why Danish men like Thai women. Thai women are just so feminine and good to cook and keep the house clean, just like Danish women back in the 50s

The best part of it, is that she said it to compliment me. But okay, apparently I'm not Thai then. I mean, sure I rock at cooking, but my room looks like shit for the moment and I'm not that feminine. 

I wish I could say that I stood up to her or something like that, but I didn't. I didn't say "uhm, can you please stop?" or anything like that. Why? Because I had just moved in and didn't want to start off fighting with one of the major players in the block

Man, I suck. And I despise myself for not standing up at that time. I mean, why would alienating myself from the others even bother me? They all suck more or less anyway. Or, not all of them... But still, I shouldn't have cared. I should have said something back at her, to make her understand that her attitude isn't okay at all. 

Or, I actually did say something back at her. But that was days later, when I overheard her trash talking an Indian guy who also lives her. She said something about wanting to "kick his garlic ass", which pissed me off big time. 

I meant to say "listen, I think that you should start considering your words more carefully, because some people might find them offensive.", but instead it come out as:

 "listen, I think that you should start considering your words more carefully, because... Fuck! You're a stupid racist fuck and you make me sick! I don't like you!!!". Yup, very mature of me.

Hmpf. Not my proudest moment. But once I got started, I couldn't stop. I mean, she's not a bad person... She did help me settle in the kitchen after all, and gave me a full pack of Wasa crisp bread when I didn't have anything left in the fridge one day. I guess she's just misguided.