Friday, November 25, 2011

Angry Asian woman, stereotypes, fail date and IBEN!

Song of the day: 

Anyway. Hi. 

Writing about interracial dating reminded me of a guy I went out with a long time ago. The first date was fine, so I figured out the second date was going to be fine as well. But oh looooord, little did I know that he was going to make me puke in my mouth a bit (actually a lot)

Why? Because he tried hitting on me saying ''I wanna ching chong you up with my chopstick''. I kid you not.  Eow. Eow. EOW!!! I didn't know what the hell to say, so I just stared at him. And after an awkward pause, I laughed a bit. It wasn't the ''hahahhaha lulz you're so funneh!'' laugh, but a nervous ''I don't know if this crazy person is being serious or if he is just joking, so I better laugh and pretend that I'm totally down with the joke'' laugh. 

But apparently he was being serious. Fuck. I mean. Really? Thank you for making me puke severely in my mouth. And hell naww boy, you cannot ''ching chong'' me up with your fucking chopstick. Changes are, if you even try, I'll break your chopstick and stomp on it several times, before setting it on fire and then feeding it to some pigs (if I somehow happen to be near a farm).. Or something like that. Or maybe I'll just sell it and make some quick cash. Like this: dude chopped up and used as kebab meat

Anyway. Back to the topic. Turns out he was one of the yellow fever guys. So basically he wanted to date me because of my ethnicity, not so much because I'm awesome, amazing and totally unique (why do people on dating sites keep writing about how awesome they are and that they're good at everything they do? Halluuu, where are the humble guys?) . There's nothing wrong with having a preference, but choosing to date specifically Asian girls because you stereotype us as being submissive and knowing secret sex skills that we are longing to practice with white men because we just looove you whities long time and wanna sucky sucky 5 dorrah? Nasty. 

It's like when some dude came up to me when I was taking a family photo and said something a la ''YOU. WANT. ME. TO. HELP?'' While gesturing wildly with his hands. I just smiled to him and said ''me no engrish'', while I thought ''What the fuck?!''. Then he just smiled, bowed and exclaimed ''bonsai!'' Unfortunately, he didn't understand that I was being ironic about the ''me no engrish'' part.

I guess he was just trying to be nice, but it sucks when people automatically assume you just must be a non English speaking tourist from Asia since you're snapping pictures in the streets. Dear white people. This is getting really old.

I wonder what would happen if I asked a white man something a la ''HELLO. YOU. UNDERSTAND. ME? YOU LIKE CURRY WURST. YES? WHAT. ABOUT. LEDERHOSENS. AND. OCTOBERFEST?'' He would probably just react like I did and think ''WTF dude are you mental?'' 

And bonsai? Fuck! Bonsai is a way of planting Japanese miniature trees, that isn't some kind of saying hello or goodbye! And I don't look Japanese at all anyway. Speaking of Japan. I just realized that the most well known Asian probably is Hello Kitty. This is getting depressing. 

Okay, I know that I'm totally overreacting, but all this stereotyping is just making me so damn sad. How can people still be so ignorant when we already have people on ISS (I wish I could be an astronaut, just so I could call someone and say ''oh hai. I can't hang out today, because I'm actually hanging out in ISS right now, you know, floating around up in space n stuff..'') and what not. But even though we rock at technology and what not, some people are still so abnormally ignorant and dumb.

Anyway. I'm out. I'm gonna head off to Iben, a cool girl who is talented as fuck. I wish I could play piano like her! Anyway. The last time we hung out, we were supposed to ''just'' drink a few beers and chill, but somehow we ended up being hijacked to a bar where a stripper did an ice cube ping pong show. Weirdness extraordinaire. 

Anyway, take a look at her. She is made of cool awesomesauce and her hair is fiiiiiierce! (pics taken by me, while we were walking back from/to? a bar)

P.S. I'm not as negative as I might sound. I promise you, I'm not an angry Asian woman.. Mostly. Only a few times a month, when I realize how depressing it is, to live in a world filled with so many ignorant people. Humanity, y u so depressing?

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