Thursday, November 24, 2011

Interracial dating and mail order brides

''I'm not racist or anything, but I think you should stick to our own kind. Asian girls with white guys are kinda gross. It looks cheap. I mean, people would probably assume you're a mail order bride or something like that''.
Yup. That's what a girl named An said, when I told her about a date I went on. Heh. I had no idea she was like that. Awkward. First I was like ''uhm.. Wait. What?''. I couldn't even be angry. I was just too surprised. But right now I'm more ''.. AWW HELL NAW WOMAN!!!!'' I mean. Seriously? What the fuck?

How can people still be so ignorant? I grew up in Denmark, so I've heard plenty of stupid comments from morons when I've been out with guys who happens to be paler than me. ''How much did he pay for you''. ''which mail order bride company are you from, haha'' etc. Been there, done that. As I said, I've heard it all. But seriously. What the fuck? 

I honestely don't understand how people can be so against interracial dating. The last time I checked, love doesn't have a color. What is going on here? This is 2011. 2012 is just around the corner. So why is this still an issue?

Anyway. Moving on. As I told you, my mom is one of them who An looks down on so much. She's an mail order bride. And you know what? I'm pretty damn proud of her. I think it's pretty brave that she moved to a country where she didn't know the language or anyone, to marry a man she didn't know - in order to save our family from poverty and so I could grow up with basically all the opportunities she didn't have, when she grew up. 

If my mom didn't marry Lars (I consider him and not my biological dad to be my real father), then I wouldn't have have been so privileged. I mean, I grew up being poor as fuck in Isaan (the poorest part of Thailand). Sometimes we didn't even had enough to eat and my grandparents couldn't afford keeping me in school (elementary school is free, but the books and the uniform isn't).

So I spent my early childhood waking up blasphemously early and helped my grandparents out with the rice harvest (meaning I was catching crabs and small fish in the rice field for our som tam lunch - I was too young to be any good in the rice paddy, when it comes to actual work). 

But then my mom came back to the village with a white husband. Lars. From that point, everything pretty much turned upside down. No more poverty, no more ''walls'' made of woven bamboo.. All that. 

So to all you guys who make fun of mail order brides: try being a poor single mother working in a factory in Bangkok who earns 127 dollars a month, for which you have to support your daughter, parents and a sister living in the other end of the country. When you've done that, then come back. To that time, I might actually take your respond seriously. 

But more importantly, think about how lucky you are, if you're one of the blissfully ignorant ones, who have been making fun of mail order brides, without knowing how hard life can be. 

This is not about victims, but about caring. This is not about trafficking, but about taking a chance in life. This is not about exploitation, but about survival. 

Back in the days. Before ending up in Denmark. Standing in front of my childhood home and looking awesome in my fancy outfit, posing with the rice harvest of the day. Fancy.

No comments:

Post a Comment