Saturday, November 26, 2011

Ping pong show, sex tourists, a funeral and Bangkok photos

My summer was pretty fucked. Why? Because a pregnant dwarf stole my bag which contained my passport, MasterCard, Visa, plane tickets, keys, cellphones and cameras. And yes, I do know that it sounds like something straight out of The Hangover II, but that actually did happen. 

See. Pregnant little person and me. Believe me now?! >:(

Oh. And I slept right next to a dead body for 3 days. Gotta love Isaan funerals. 

But all in all, my summer was goodio. Traveled with a friend for a month in Thailand, then I met an ex boyfriend near the Burmese border who I went on a road trip with. After that, I met up with my some Thai chicks I used to live with once and partied on with them in Bangkok. Crazy times.

One day we ended up in a strip club at Patpong street. Right after we entered, some chick started doing a ping pong strip show. It wasn't because we were like ''aw hell yeah, we're going to a strip club!''. We were basically just going to pick up a friend who works in the club as a bar girl, but because she was 30 minutes late, we waited for her in the bar.. and then, BAM! Ping pong show in your face!

Fuck, it was gross. I mean, I didn't know chicks could have so much stuffed up inside. especially not living things.. Like a toad. But that was nothing compared to the razor blades.. Fuck. Ping pong shows are fucking sick. 

When I saw the razor blades, I wanted to choke on my own vomit while smashing my face in with a hammer. I fucking wanted to die instead of watching it, that's how gross it was. Especially because the uhmm.. Dancer? Fucked up with the razor blade show and ended up cutting her vagina instead. Auch. 

But yeah. Seeing that side of Bangkok really made me sad. Especially because I saw all those old fat white men acting like they're kings and what not. 

I hate when people are judging couples where the female is Asian, but seeing sex tourists in my country, taking advantage of poor young girls? FUCK. 

I fucking hate sex tourists. And this actually reminds me of once  I encountered a sex tourist on the beach in Thailand. I was sunbathing alone (my friend were buying ice creams for us meanwhile) when this old creep in speedos walked over to my spot (why are all the old creepy sex tourists in Thailand wearing speedos and man thongs?). It was a pretty nasty sight. My eyes pretty much burned up by seeing him standing in front of me. 

Anyway. He smiled to me and moved closer and closer. Eow. Then he asked me where the Pattaya sign was.. Which was a pretty stupid question, since the Pattaya city sign is as big as the Hollywood sign.. So yeah, the Pattaya sign was as fucing easy to spot as the freaking sea from where we stood. 

And then after moving a bit too close to me, he asked me ''how much?'' and then continued saying ''I will pay you good'' in really loud and slow English. 

Unfortunately for him, I could clearly understand his accent. Why? Because the man was from the same country where I moved to as a child. Denmark. 

So I guess I scared him pretty badly, when I said ''fuck af med dig, klamme stodder'' in perfect Danish, which basically means fuck off you gross perv. 

I guess that was a bit rude of me to say that, I mean, I could just have said ''please go away'', but argh. I really can't stand sex tourists. And the fact that he thought that he could just walk up to me like that and ask ''how much?''. Nasty!

And now moving on to the funeral story. 

Well. My great grandmas BFF died. And when there's a funeral going on in the village, it basically means that it's time for hardcore partying to honor the deceased. Relatives and friends and their friends friends and their relatives and their friends and etc were invited. People ate, drank and gambled (which is illegal in Thailand but considered ok during funerals) for a few days in a row.. Next to the freezer thing in the living room where the deceased laid. 

And when it was time to sleep, all the important relatives slept in the same room where the deceased were, to keep the spirit of the deceased from being too lonely. After a few days, the partying stopped and the body was cremated at the local wat (temple), where the entire village were gathered to show one last respect to my grandmas BFF (I love that word). 

I wish funerals in the West would be like this. I'm not talking about sleeping right next to corpses, but I like the part about gathering people to celebrate your loved one by remembering all the good things and honoring that by trying to stay positive. I didn't see anyone at the funeral cry. But that is not because people were cold, that's just because we don't have the same view  on death as most Westerners do. That's at least what I think. 

ANYWAY. Bangkok pics:

A beggar at Pratunam market with paralyzed legs

Pratunam wholesale market

A grandma and a little girl sitting outside their family run store.

Street vendor at Pratunam

An old Isaan man taking a break in the big city & local Bangkok people 


Street vendor

Even though he's just a kid, I'm not that worried about him. Kids who grow up in Bangkok are really tough and they're  amazingly good at keeping up their spirit, even though they live harsh lives.

Me and doctor Nitiporn, my soulmate. 

Taken at the Panthip Plaza bridge

A woman and her young daughter begging at the Panthip bridge

2$ shoes, anyone?

A hippie guy and his girlfriend who walked right past the little beggar girl while talking about saving the world, ending poverty, world peace and whatnot.

Chinatown - Yaowarat road area. 

The man insisted on showing me and Mathias (the guy I was traveling with) his gangrene infected toes. First he asked for a few baht. Fine enough. Then he asked for more. Again, fine enough. Then he asked for 1000.. And then 1200.. And then 1500

I tried walking away from him, but damn  he was fast!

A mother comforting her son. Love :)
Monks checking out laptops
Paralyzed beggar
Rich bitch. Oh wow, 63 dollars!
Thai street food. Yum!!
A group of friends eating at the same spot. Cross the bridge at Platinum Mall and you'll see the street food place. They have the best food in Bangkok :) And it's cheap too. Me and Mathias only spent 3 dollars combined on our dinner. Yum stuff!
Nice apartments. Me and my aunt. 
Om nom nom
Nomz extreme
Mathias & flash

Our samlor driver. Dear white people: Please stop calling samlors for tuk tuks.

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