Grå dage

Ok. Went out with some Thai girls, everything was cool. Some Latino guys were staring at us, when we danced with each other. No, we did not make out and/grind each other and discretely looking at guys while doing it, in order to draw male attention.. We just danced. You know, we were just some happy girls dancing with good friends and having fun.

Anyway, the Latino guys closed in on us. One of them started dancing behind me. Or wait, dancing? It was more something a la rubbing his fucking dick on my butt. What the hell was he thinking? "Uh, if I grind this girls ass then she will totally sleep with me?" DUDE. I DON'T KNOW YOU. GET YOUR DICK AWAY FROM MY ASS. Thank you.

Anyway, tried ignoring him. Didn't work. He squeezed my ass. Lolfuckingwat. Who the fuck squeezes a strangers ass? I turned around, rolled my eyes at him and made it clear that I didn't want anything to do with him. But did that work? No. He simply said "damn you Asian girls got sum serious cum-fu. Spicy!". Fuck. FUCK.

Anyway. I met him again when I was on my way home alone. Didn't want to stay and keep drinking, just wanted to go home and check up on rolls of film and whatnot. I dunno, I suppose I just like being alone. When I was sitting outside, inserting a roll of film inside a camera, he came over and apologized. I smiled and said it was ok. Then he moved closer and asked me if I was down to do something. Then he grabbed my arm and said "come on girl, I know you want to" and tried sticking his other hand up under my skirt. Shit, that freaked me out. Didn't really know what else to do, so I ran.

Jesus fucking christ. I don't really feel going outside these days. Just want to stay inside, looking at endless rolls of destroyed film. I will never be able to use them again, but you know, being in the darkroom is comforting. I like it there. It's nice being able to shut off the rest of the world.

I'm over everything that happened back in February 10', but at the same time, I suppose I'm not. Like, I can't stand being touched, but at the same time, I'm yearning after the whole "imma give you a hug and tell you that everything is going to be ok" package. Does that make any sense? I fucking hope so.


Uh. Good news. Anna is coming over with smoked duck, garlic bread, avocado salad, more garlic bread, lobster with chives mascarpone.. And wine!


I love you Anna