Awkward blind date

It's funny to think about how miserable I used to be, back when I actually cared. But everything is different now. It feels like something is missing inside of me. Like I've been stripped clean of emotions. I smile, I laugh, and whatnot. But deep down, when it comes to serious shit, I just don't care anymore. Which I don't mind.

Anyway. I'm reading like crazy for the moment and I'm still working on the photo project. And I went on a blind date today. Turns out the dude is my ex boyfriend. Shit. Shit. Shit. SHIT. 

I said hi and then I tried to leave by saying ''uhm.. I have to meet up with my grandma at the nursing home where she's living''. Fuck. Worst lie. Ever. Why? Because both of us know that my grandma lives in freakin' Thailand. 

Yes. I suck. But why waste my time on someone I've already labeled ''white man no good''? So that was it. My first blind date. It lasted around 2 awkward seconds.

When I somehow end up meeting ex boyfriends, I don't feel like gorging on chocolate and then crying myself to sleep while listening to ''Nothing Compares 2 U'' by Sinead O'conor or something when I get home. Because you know, stuff like that ends for a reason - mostly.

But somehow I tend to think.. ''Whoa. Has he really been inside me? Did I really date him for such a long time? DA-YUM!''. I know. Random wondering. Sometimes I wish I could be more emotional when it comes to ex boyfriends. Just to feel a bit human.

Oh well. I made a hardcore layer cake with Michael afterwards. The cake was so grossly fattening that it was kind of awesome. So basically:

Awkward blind date - FAIL

Making an epic cake with Michael - WIN

Eating the layer cake of d00m with Michael and a few other friends while watching Human Centipede - WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN

Say hi to Diabetes Mellitus type 2

P.S. This is pretty damn cool. Perry, you rock. 

SCIFI THURSDAYS

 Public event · By Perry Heauxlstein

• • When8 December at 19:00 until Thursday, 8 March 2012 at 19:0
• Where
  TBA - shifting locations,  new fun ones EVERY THURSDAY

• Description
  Every Thursday night we'll be writing, directing, starring in, and producing a NEW science fiction short. Results will be edited over the next week and premiered at the beginning of the next session.
  
  
  No fussy scriptwriting or acting! Just hectic group creation the dystopian/alien/zombie/ apocalypse/revolutionary/ utopian scenarios that we usually can only daydream about!
  
  
  BRING any prop you might want to use. Anything in yr house that looks futuristic or sublime. ALSO any colored light bulbs you might have or sheets with crazy patterns. OH AND costume gear. and musical instruments.
  
  
  Ed Wood! Kuchar Brothers! John Waters! Theater of the Oppressed! Jack Smith! Kurt Russell! BLADE RUNNER! SOLARIS! THX1138! THE CALIFORNIA LOVE MUSIC VIDEO!

Food and (a lack of) feelings.

Oh boy. If you like me, then please let me go. I'm no good for you. I feel numb all the time, and I'm not even sure if anything I  feel is real, or if it's just something I make up, because I'm desperate to feel human.


I'm not depressed or anything, I just feel empty. I'm not sure when it happened, but suddenly I just realized that I just don't give a shit anymore. It feels like all my emotions are gone, more or less. My hands are bruised, and there's a hole in the wall. But somehow I can't recall any of this. I just can't remember.


Nothing makes sense to me anymore. I just want to run away. But it seems like that's all I do nowadays. Whenever something get's a bit difficult, I run away. I guess that's why I decided to stay in Thailand for a few months.


Everything is going abnormally fine for the moment. I guess I should appreciate that. But what's the point of having a rocking life, if I don't really give a shit about anything and just can't feel one damn thing? Anyway. Sorry dude.








Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand I'm hungry. And you know what? I'm damn good at cooking Thai food. Om nom nomz extreme. But I have no idea of what to make.. But as long as I end up eating something with a dead animal included, I'll be happy.

Wok chicken with mushrooms, broccoli, fish sauce, sweet soy sauce, a bit of chili and garlic. Nomz! 

Thom kha kai soup (it literally means boiled leg chicken, lulz). The best Thai soup, ever. Coconut milk,  chicken, mushrooms, lemongrass (for the taste),  galangal (also for the taste), fresh chili, dried chili, kaffir lime leaves (for the taste), fish sauce, lime aaand done.

Yum!

Nam thok - which means waterfall. Beef (or pork, chicken or duck), fish sauce, lime juice, cucumber, onions, roasted rice, mint leaves, cilantro, spring onions and plenty of roasted chili.